The Technocrats

Okay so my annual wandering.

Every year Godo thinks we should take time off work and explore the wastes. Godo has a complicated “burnout to fallout” metric which he uses in evaluations. Godo thinks we learn something away from work and that we come back refreshed and renewed. He also wants us to bring something back.

So I went off into the wastes. I had my walking stick, my Rad Block™, food, water, and lots of ammo for my .223 pistol – standard librarian gear.

At first I had to keep low to the hills because we’ve heard rumors of roving mimes. After days of avoiding them, I saw one, but he was distracted by a length of invisible rope. As I neared the city, I found a staircase leading down to one of the old vaults.

The vault I was in was typical. Overgrown rats, health kits stashed in corners, ammo for my incredibly rare .223 pistol just lying in plain sight.

Anyway, I found The History of the Electronic Brain for Complete and Utterly Abject Morons. Most of the pages were unreadable, but there was an interesting section on the Technocrats.

The Technocrats gathered together the world’s blogs and let people tag them. For example, you could search for piranha and find posts about Petey Pirahna, Doug and Dinsdale Piranha, or Pirahna by the band Exodus. This may not have helped if a small fish was eating your leg, but the world was fiercely overpopulated at time.

Eventually there were eleventy billion blogs and every word in the world was used as a tag except for: timely, accurate, and authoritative. As the blogosphere collapsed under its own weight, the Technocrats unveiled their master plan which involved selling more copies in their books for Complete and Utterly Abject Morons line.

I stayed in the vault a few days and had rat steaks, rat bacon, rat stew. Then I was attacked by feral pigeons and had to flee under the cover of night. Godo liked the book, but he wished I had saved him some rats instead.